The Sure-fire, No Fail, Lose Weight, 100% Guaranteed BlogoBlackmore Diet
Do want to lose weight? Are you tired of seeing your fat face in pictures? Are you fed up with the feeling of being weighed down (pun intended)?
Well, I sure as fuck was.
So on April 7th I decided to do something about it.
Why April 7th? Because that was the day Jen came home with a scale. A scale I fatefully, curiously and fearfully stepped on. A scale I was shocked to see display my body weight at a blubbering 219 lbs. That’s about 15 more lbs than I thought I was and I already thought I was fat! I knew I had put on a few since moving in with Jen and getting domestic, but I didn’t realize how far I slid and how much I grew.
I mean fuck! 219! I couldn’t go around pretending I was normal sized, like when I was 195-200. Unless you’re a 6′6″, shut-’er-down NHL blueliner with a mean streak, 219 lbs is deep into fatass territory.
Realizing it was now or never, I took action that day. The answer to this problem, as to all problems, lied on the internet. I recalled that a couple of years ago I used a site called Fitday, which is basically an online food journal. I signed up once again and entered my daily food intake. On April 7th 2008 I consumed 3109 calories! Seems like a lot now, but it was what I thought was a good day at the time. I had Quiznos’ for lunch and a huge plate of spaghetti with meat balls for dinner. 3109 calories at that point that was just over a breakeven day for me (219 lbs, 25 year old males burn about 3000 calories a day with a seated work lifestyle, jealous ladies?), but I knew there were days when I ate way more.
From that day on, I knew I had to consume fewer calories than I ate - every single day - going forward. And since April 7th I have done almost exactly that, with just 2 exceptions (once when visiting family for dinner and once one night a buddy came over and we got drunk and ate a big bag of ruffles).
It wasn’t easy at first. Having to record every single thing I ate got annoying real fast but I stuck with it. I tediously entered nutritional information into the site from boxes, packaging and restaurant websites. It turns out I eat mostly the same foods all the time, so once I got over the initial work of entering the most common foods I eat it got easier from there. 21 days later or less, I had formed a new habit. Now it actually feels weird if I don’t enter my food when I eat it. I have brought my average calories down to the 2100-2400 per day range and have lost over 20 lbs. As of today, I weigh 198.8 lbs and still dropping a lb or more a week.
And herein lies the sure-fire, no fail, lose weight, 100% guaranteed BlogoBlackmore diet: eat less calories than you burn. Full stop. Period.
It’s very simple. I am thinking of calling it the CICO (pronounced psycho) diet: Calories In, Calories Out. If you burn 2900 calories per day and on average, and only eat 2300 calories on average per day, then you are burning 600 calories, on average, per day. There are roughly 3500 calories in a lb of fat. So, if you burn 600 calories per day x 7 days a week that = 4200 calories, or 1.2 lbs of fat burned per week.
It’s that simple. If you are 40 lbs overweight, you know it’s going to take 33.3 weeks to burn it off in the above example. Not too bad, considering most people could change their life in 8.3 months just by watching their calories in and calories out.
Now, I know what you are thinking: “James, isn’t important that we choose the right foods and exercise regularly?”
The short answer is no. If you burn 2900 calories a day, then you can eat 2300 calories a day of Krispy Cream flavoured cheese cake baked inside a Big Mac and still lose 1.2 lbs per week, so long as that’s all you eat. You can drink 2300 calories of pure high-fructose corn syrup for fuck’s sake, if that’s what you want to do. Just keep in mind your body judges fullness by the actual physical volume of food you eat, not its caloric content - so if you’ll get pretty hungry eating only 2300 calories per day of calorically dense foods.
The long answer, of course, is yes; choosing the right foods and exercising helps you lose weight, because you get full on fewer calories and exercising burns calories, thus increasing your caloric deficit on both sides of the equation. This, of course, leads to increased weight loss.
Knowing how many calories you are at in a given day helps too. If it’s 8:00 pm you are at 1300 calories and want to eat a 350 calorie slice of stuff crust pizza from Pizza Hut, you can go right ahead: you’ve got calories to burn. If you were at 2000 by then, you might want to reconsider.
Calories are like money, if you got the money, buy it. If you have to go in debt to get it, reconsider if it is something you should really buy.
Now that you are armed with this knowledge, go out and change your life. Lose weight, feel more confident, have sex more, buy a new wardrobe, win a game hide and go seek. Just take this advice from me: don’t wait, lose the weight!
If you enjoyed this post, please consider to leave a comment or subscribe to the feed and get future articles delivered to your feed reader.
Comments
No comments yet.
Leave a comment