Elephant Paints Its Own Self Portrait
This is absolutely the most impressive thing I’ve seen all week!
I’ve heard about elephants painting, but before this I thought they just made “abstract” works, i.e. a bunch of paint all over the place. This elephant is clearly painting a picture of an elephant.
This begs the question: does he know he’s painting an elephant or is this just something he was taught to do? Does this make what the elephant is doing any less impressive either way?
Please leave a comment and let me know your thoughts.
Top 7 Baby Boomer Myths about Generation Y
I’m a 25 year-old, true-blue Millennial and I’ve got the internet flowing through my veins.
I’m plugged in: I’ve got an iPod, a BlackBerry and a laptop. I’ve got a Facebook account and my own personal blog. I’m a walking Gen Y stereotype and my net-sense has been tingling lately.
The more I read about my generation, the more I think we are being unfairly stereotyped.
As our Baby Boomer parents and bosses seek to understand us, they’ve created an all encompassing typecast for their children’s generation. While stereotyping is a necessity when talking about something as large and diverse as an entire population born during a specific time period, it seems like all you have to do these days is toss in a few standard follies of youth, add a couple of realistic adaptations to living in our time and voila! You have created a Millennial archetype.
While some of the traits bandied about us are true, many of them miss the mark as far as I’m concerned. Below are 7 Millennial myths I’d like to disband.
- We care more about our social networks than our jobs - Ah yes, us Gen Y’s are more concerned about a friend-of-a-friend-from-three-years-ago’s new picture album of them out at the club than with the job that pays ours bills, puts food on our tables and keeps the student loan collectors from breaking our legs. Seems logical, right? I think not. The only Millennials this applies to are the ones who don’t actually need their jobs, i.e. the ones that are still teenagers. When you are a teenager just about everything is more important than your shity job. I think this stereotype must have been perpetuated by the Boomers that are intimidated by scary new technology like My Space and wonder why we seem to be so obsessed with it. To set the record straight, our hierarchy of needs goes: sustenance and survival first, Facebook a close second.
- We’re obsessed with pop culture – There is this impression out there all of us under-30-set are obsessed with Britney, Lindsay, Paris and Brangelina. This is an appalling stereotype because pop-culture addiction crosses many demographic lines. I am not going to say that none of us care about the tawdry lives of Hollywood debutants, but I will confidently argue that there are plenty of old ladies out there picking up copies of US magazine at the supermarket; I know, I’ve seen it with my own eyes. The only other thing I would like to say on this subject is that celebrity gossip was alive and well long before I could even read, so this isn’t exactly a new phenomenon. I blame the media for this stereotype – they can sell a lot of ad space drumming up fear in our parents. Don’t worry Boomers, your daughters won’t grow up to be like Britney.
- We’re enviro-nazis – How many times have I and will I read a political article where the author states that a particular candidate is courting the youth vote by acting strongly on the environment? The answer is a lot. It seems like environmental protection and youth go hand in hand. The funny thing is you can go back nearly 30 years and read the same stories, but the youth they were talking about then are now in their forties and fifties. The truth is I know old school hippies that grow their own vegetables and talk about being “green”, while I honestly couldn’t be arsed to recycle unless it’s made very convenient for me to do so. Older people think that because I am young I must be some kind of eco-crusader, when I’m really far less of one than I should be. The other truth is that our environment is pretty fucked up and threatens everyone’s survival, not just young peoples, so let’s make not it a Generation Y only issue.
- We’re job hoppers with no loyalty to our employers – This myth definitely falls into both the “realistic adaptation to living in our time” and the “standard folly of youth” categories. People don’t stay at one job for their entire lives any more, this is true. But that reality cuts across all generations that haven’t reached retirement age yet, including Generation X and Baby Boomers. When reality changes (i.e. companies “restructure” themselves more than ever; technology makes it easier to for people to find better jobs) people of all ages change with it. I think all the generations understand now that they have to build their own ladder, so-to-speak, because the corporate one they’ve been climbing might get blocked or a few rungs might fall off without notice. How this stereotype got pegged on us exclusively I do not know. Maybe it is because many of us are still young and working McJobs? Who really expects anyone to have any loyalty to a McJob? Millennials, like everyone else, are more than willing to stick around once we find a job we like doing, that fits with our lifestyle and pays well enough for us to not think about leaving for a while. Boomers with short memories created this myth. They’ve had the same six-figure jobs since they were 38 (which was probably 20 years ago!) and don’t remember the uncertain times of their youth.
- We’re overly optimistic – The Deloitte Consulting Group’s Millennial Fact Sheet contains a quote from Neil Howe and William Strauss, authors of Millennials Rising that says “…The Millennial Generation will entirely recast the image of youth from downbeat and alienated to upbeat and engaged—with potentially seismic consequences for America.” Well, doesn’t that sound fantastic? If only it were true. This actually seems like one of those stereotypes that just cover some of Generation Y, some of the time, rather than most of us, most of the time. Like other human beings, I’m very optimistic about some things and completely pessimistic about others. This stereotype seems like it was created by the media, who were just trying to fill space in the articles they were writing about us. While I think most of us are self confident and self assured, there is certainly no shortage of scepticism amongst our ranks, which brings me to the next myth:
- We’re overly cynical – By now, it’s common knowledge that Generation Y has been the most targeted market demographic in history. We’re so media-aware that
it takes a team of business consultants with Harvard MBA’s just to figure out how to make a commercial we won’t reject. Politicians stumble around making My Space pages and You Tube videos in a vain effort to “keep it real”. We get our news with a sarcastic twist from Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert rather than from traditionalist CNN and USA Today. Oh yeah, we’re real cracker jacks. That’s why Fall Out Boy is one of the most popular bands of the decade and the Wayans Brother’s dumb-assed parody movies are so successful. I would like to think my generation really is the savviest of them all, but evidence of our stupidity keeps hitting me upside the head.
- We’ve got a smug sense of entitlement – This has to be the worst stereotype of them all because a) it’s partially true, and because b) the Baby Boomers created it themselves by spending the first 18 (actually, in most cases 20+) years of our life building us up and bailing us out. Never before has a generation been so coddled. We certainly did have a sense of entitlement and many of us – the younger ones – still do. This stereotype makes the list is because as the Millennials age, it becomes less and less true. 21 and 22 year old college grads do have a sense of entitlement – they expect 50k + jobs to fall in their laps, and they expect to be managers within 6 months, handling all the important work at the office. I mean we went to college for fuck’s sake! Teachers, parents and TV have told us over and over again that a 4 year degree was the golden ticket to success. Holding a university degree was tantamount to the great divide between being a poor labourer or a sophisticated (and well-off) professional. Well, it turns out the concept of paying your dues didn’t go away with the changing of the generational guard. Sure, a degree is helpful most of the time, but it doesn’t replace the fact that you don’t have any real experience and are going to have to prove yourself for a while. Like 5 to 10 years a while. Generation Y is learning, slowly but surely, that nothing is given to a typical adult in this world. Every single thing our parents have they earned and we’ll be no different.
Picture Source: Joel Stein’s column for TIME | “You are Not My Friend“
Illustration by Francisco Caceres for TIME
Ploomy Writing Contest Entry
I’ve submitted an article for entry into the Ploomy writing contest! Check it out here. Don’t forget to vote . . . me up and everyone else down. Go forth Blackmore Nation!
The Sure-fire, No Fail, Lose Weight, 100% Guaranteed BlogoBlackmore Diet
Do want to lose weight? Are you tired of seeing your fat face in pictures? Are you fed up with the feeling of being weighed down (pun intended)?
Well, I sure as fuck was.
So on April 7th I decided to do something about it.
Why April 7th? Because that was the day Jen came home with a scale. A scale I fatefully, curiously and fearfully stepped on. A scale I was shocked to see display my body weight at a blubbering 219 lbs. That’s about 15 more lbs than I thought I was and I already thought I was fat! I knew I had put on a few since moving in with Jen and getting domestic, but I didn’t realize how far I slid and how much I grew.
I mean fuck! 219! I couldn’t go around pretending I was normal sized, like when I was 195-200. Unless you’re a 6′6″, shut-’er-down NHL blueliner with a mean streak, 219 lbs is deep into fatass territory.
Realizing it was now or never, I took action that day. The answer to this problem, as to all problems, lied on the internet. I recalled that a couple of years ago I used a site called Fitday, which is basically an online food journal. I signed up once again and entered my daily food intake. On April 7th 2008 I consumed 3109 calories! Seems like a lot now, but it was what I thought was a good day at the time. I had Quiznos’ for lunch and a huge plate of spaghetti with meat balls for dinner. 3109 calories at that point that was just over a breakeven day for me (219 lbs, 25 year old males burn about 3000 calories a day with a seated work lifestyle, jealous ladies?), but I knew there were days when I ate way more.
From that day on, I knew I had to consume fewer calories than I ate - every single day - going forward. And since April 7th I have done almost exactly that, with just 2 exceptions (once when visiting family for dinner and once one night a buddy came over and we got drunk and ate a big bag of ruffles).
It wasn’t easy at first. Having to record every single thing I ate got annoying real fast but I stuck with it. I tediously entered nutritional information into the site from boxes, packaging and restaurant websites. It turns out I eat mostly the same foods all the time, so once I got over the initial work of entering the most common foods I eat it got easier from there. 21 days later or less, I had formed a new habit. Now it actually feels weird if I don’t enter my food when I eat it. I have brought my average calories down to the 2100-2400 per day range and have lost over 20 lbs. As of today, I weigh 198.8 lbs and still dropping a lb or more a week.
And herein lies the sure-fire, no fail, lose weight, 100% guaranteed BlogoBlackmore diet: eat less calories than you burn. Full stop. Period.
It’s very simple. I am thinking of calling it the CICO (pronounced psycho) diet: Calories In, Calories Out. If you burn 2900 calories per day and on average, and only eat 2300 calories on average per day, then you are burning 600 calories, on average, per day. There are roughly 3500 calories in a lb of fat. So, if you burn 600 calories per day x 7 days a week that = 4200 calories, or 1.2 lbs of fat burned per week.
It’s that simple. If you are 40 lbs overweight, you know it’s going to take 33.3 weeks to burn it off in the above example. Not too bad, considering most people could change their life in 8.3 months just by watching their calories in and calories out.
Now, I know what you are thinking: “James, isn’t important that we choose the right foods and exercise regularly?”
The short answer is no. If you burn 2900 calories a day, then you can eat 2300 calories a day of Krispy Cream flavoured cheese cake baked inside a Big Mac and still lose 1.2 lbs per week, so long as that’s all you eat. You can drink 2300 calories of pure high-fructose corn syrup for fuck’s sake, if that’s what you want to do. Just keep in mind your body judges fullness by the actual physical volume of food you eat, not its caloric content - so if you’ll get pretty hungry eating only 2300 calories per day of calorically dense foods.
The long answer, of course, is yes; choosing the right foods and exercising helps you lose weight, because you get full on fewer calories and exercising burns calories, thus increasing your caloric deficit on both sides of the equation. This, of course, leads to increased weight loss.
Knowing how many calories you are at in a given day helps too. If it’s 8:00 pm you are at 1300 calories and want to eat a 350 calorie slice of stuff crust pizza from Pizza Hut, you can go right ahead: you’ve got calories to burn. If you were at 2000 by then, you might want to reconsider.
Calories are like money, if you got the money, buy it. If you have to go in debt to get it, reconsider if it is something you should really buy.
Now that you are armed with this knowledge, go out and change your life. Lose weight, feel more confident, have sex more, buy a new wardrobe, win a game hide and go seek. Just take this advice from me: don’t wait, lose the weight!
The 5 Best Xbox 360 Games of All Time
GTA IV
What I love about it: It’s cliche I know, but GTA IV is fucking awesome. Everyone and their dog ranked it 100 on the zero hour after it’s release; it’s ranked 98 on Metacritic for a reason
The city, the story, the soundtrack, the freedom; everything that made the previous GTA’s so fantastic is back, but stepped up a notch. I actually couldn’t imagine not liking a GTA game. Just cruising around town, listening to tunes, enjoying the beautifully rendered cityscape, randomly shooting obnoxious citizens is fun enough; throw in a gripping crime saga, crazy criminal characters, and the most subversive sense of humor ever found in a video game and it becomes a sure fire classic.
What could be better: Even the best games have their knocks and GTA IV is no exception. My two biggest complaints are the repetitive mission structure – with no save checkpoints – and sometimes shitty controls.
Every mission is like, go there, get this, shoot these people, get away from the cops, shoot more people, etc. Not only is that boring and should be spiced up (maybe with some Hitman style stealth assassinations, eh Rockstar?), but it also gets really fucking tedious when you have to do the whole mission again after passing the first 3 stages of it and were on the last part. The missions where you rob the bank and where you had to get the coke from the old run down hospitial come to mind; while they were great, they were a true test of patience.
The controls too, need some work. The new cover system works great in theory, but it does start to piss you off when you try to move from one wall to the next but the game decides to put you in font of some garbage can where you are easily in the line of fire.
Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion
What I love about it: While I am not normally one for games about orks, magic kingdoms and all of that shit, I seriously loved this game. Similar to GTA IV, the game has a massive open world, only Oblivion has the most massive open word of any console game I’ve played.
The game takes place in the literally huge mythical country of Cyrodil where you have full reign. You start out by escaping from the prison of the Imperial City and from there you are free to explore the 8 other cities or the countless villages, ruins, forts, caves, mines and even other dimensions held within the game’s world. I’ve played nearly 100 hours and gotten every achievement point available and I have certainly not seen and done everything the game has to offer.
I haven’t even mentioned the fact that every single non-player-character in the game is unique! Unlike GTA, where 99% of the NPC’s are simply scenery, spouting random lines, every one you meet in Cyrodil is an individual person with their own name and dialog. You can ask them questions, do quests for most of them, or follow them around and see how and what they do every day.
Oh, I nearly forgot to mention, the action is top-notch too, so you action fans (such as myself) won’t be disappointed.
What could be better: I honestly cannot think of too much they could do to improve. There were some frame rate issues because they really pushed the console as far as it could go, but they didn’t bother me much. One thing I found annoying was the fact you can’t go out at night without having to fight off wolves or bears or lame-ass crabs or something. You typically are in the middle of something and just walk on by them, but then they chase you for 10 minutes. It’s much more lame than challenging. They should just get rid it and let us roam the countryside in peace. There’s plenty of other places to fight baddies if we want to.
Mass Effect
What I love about it: Do you like science fiction? Did you like choose your own adventure books as a kid? Do you love stunningly beautiful, completely immersive, next generation video game experiences? If you answered yes to those 3 questions, then Mass Effect may be the best game you will ever play.
You star as Commander Sheppard, who can be either male or female and fully customized to look however you want him or her to look. I made my Shepard look like a buff version of me; that way I can really feel like it’s sexy me saving the galaxy. The game is half action, half RPG, which really helps to convey a cinematic feel. You meet characters and while in conversation with them you get three choices as how to respond. You can choose to either be a good guy, be a bad ass, or take the middle ground. The choices you make effect the outcome of the game at various later points, including your ability to hook up with a sexy 200 year old alien chick. Making the character reflect your personality to this degree is one of the coolest things I’ve ever done in a video game.
There’s lots of worlds to explore, mysteries to solve and evil plans to undo. I can’t recommend Mass Effect highly enough.
What could be better: For starters, it could be a whole-hell-of-a-lot less tedious. Sometimes there are just so many conversations you need to have and so manyclittle plot details to learn you spend 50% of your time just listening to what can quickly become boring conversations. In truth, much of it is interesting, but it can test your patience.
Also, the inventory system just blows. You end up picking up and carrying 100’s of items, and much of it is redundant because you have something better in your inventory already. This would be no problem if there was an easy way to get rid of it all, but you have to delete one by one, making it a huge time eater.
BioShock
What I love about it: Bioshock is a phenomenally creative first person shooter. The setting is what I love the most. Set in a parallel 1960, you star as plane crash survivor Jack, who discovers an elevator in a lighthouse that takes you down to cryptic underwater utopian city named Rapture, which of course, has gone horribly awry.
The game features really cool elements, like the ability to inject your self with DNA shots that give you special abilities, and a morality element where you decide to save little sisters (who are being protected by awesome bad-asses called Big Daddies that are pictured to the right) or harvest them for the power. If you decide to harvest, you get an instant power up, but if you decide to save them, you are rewarded with a more positive ending. There are twists and turns as the plot unfolds and I found myself fully enthralled through the entire game.
What could better: In the end, Bioshock is still just another first person shooter. The levels are straight forward and you can just blow your way through the entire game if you want to. There are neat things to check out, and you can get pretty deep into the story if you want, but in comparison to the other games on the list, the lack of a true open world works against it.
Gears of War
What I love about it: Gears of War is the only game I know where you use a gun that has a fucking chainsaw on it to slice bad guys to bloody bits! This game is pretty much the epitome of what video games were meant to be. You star as super tough guy soldier Marcus Fenix, and you lead a group super hulk commandos to victory over a race of hideously ugly underground alien-type things called the Locust Hoard.
GoW has fantastic graphics and superb gameplay; it was one of the first games to implement the cover system that is so predominately used today. It’s also one of the most fun games to play in the traditional 2 player mode - you know with 2 friends in the same room, as opposed to a random person on Xbox Live - as it the levels are designed for teamwork.
What could be better: The game is too short! I finished the whole thing in 8 hours on the hardcore (medium) setting, and I’m not exactly a game pro. The final boss, General Raam, was a little bit of a let down as well; he was almost too easy. Other than that though, the entire thing was spot on.
I am anxiously awaiting Gears of War 2 due out in the fall.
Should I Buy a $200 Pair of Ray Ban Aviator Sunglasses?
I’m at work yesterday afternoon when Jen calls me and says she has a surprise for me and I’m going to like it.
Before my brain goes pornographic, she says she’s home from work (it’s her half day – apparently some businesses have something called summer hours; must be nice) and says there is a cheque, made payable to me, from Revenue Canada, for THIR-TEEN-HUNDRED BUCKS!
Fucking eh!
And for the past 6 months they have been telling me that I owe them! YES! Let that be a lesson to all you kids out there: be sure to include your T-2202a forms along with the accompanying schedule 11 form if you received non-taxable educational bursaries during the fiscal year!
So it’s safe to say I didn’t expect it and it’s a real boon! As soon as I got home I got the cheque and left again for the bank machine to deposit it. Along the way I noticed it was very sunny, and the sun light was blinding my eyes. I thought, “Once I am done safely depositing my new found riches, I will head down to that little kiosk in the mall that sells designer knock off sun-glasses and get a pair of $20 aviators” (the only kind of shades I wear).
On my way there, what do I walk past but a SunGlass Hut! Malls, I swear! Those places are just designed to tempt you. So I figure, “I got money now, why not take a look?”
Of course I find I kick ass pair! Only $187.
Measly in compared to the $1300 I got from the government. Plus, I knew I was going to go straight home and pay my credit card balance off completely and pay myself $300 into my savings so it’s not like I couldn’t afford the sunglasses; it’s a matter of should I afford it. Let’s make a list of pros and cons for buying the Ray Bans.
Pros
- I will look cool. Badass aviator cool.
- People judge other people based on their possessions. If I have $200 Ray Bans, people will assume I am rich, cool and successful.
Cons
- Expensive sunglasses are not better made then cheaper sunglasses, which break easily. What if I break my sunglasses? What a waste.
- I may be able to put the money to better use by purchasing cheap sunglasses.
What do you think? Should I splurge and by Ray Bans so I can have name brand sunglasses and feel superficially cool for the summer? Or should I buy cheap glasses and spend the money on something less frivolous?
BlogoBlackmore gets the Colbert Bump!
WOW! Ever since I posted that video of Stephen Colbert’s mockery of our “second national anthem”, my blog has had a huge spike in traffic! It’s gone from zero page views on Friday to an accumulated 25 pages views over the weekend!! That’s an increase of over a mathematically undefinable percentage!
Thanks Colbert! I’m honored to have joined the likes of winners such as Mike Huckabee, Ron Paul and Mike Gravel who also got the Colbert Bump.
For those that don’t believe me, I have included my WordPress stats as evidence.
I also what to show that I made the first Google Search page (albeit at the very bottom) when you search “colbert hockey night song”. Proof below:
Just one step closer to internet immortality!
6 Cool Up & Coming UK Rock Bands
The Holloways are the latest addition to the british capital’s fast-rising list of young meteors to look out for. The band consists of Alfie Jackson, Rob Skipper, Bryn Fowler and Dave Danger. Showcasing their unique upbeat brand of poptastic indie rock, they certainly stand out from the crowd with a reputation for excellent live performances.
The video above is for the bands second single, Generator:
The Pigeon Detectives are a five piece indie rock band from Rothwell, Leeds with influences such as The Beatles, The Kinks and The Velvet Underground. Pigeon Detectives, who formed in 2002, found acclaim among DJs and the musical press when they performed at 2006 Reading and Leeds festivals, being tagged as the “band most likely to leap to the main stage in 2007″
The video above is for the band’s highest charting UK single, I’m Not Sorry
Little Man Tate are a four-piece indie band from Sheffield, England and formed in 2005. The band quickly began attracting interest from several record labels and in March 2006 signed to V2 Records, later parting ways in November 2007. Their fifth single, Sexy In Latin was released on January 22 and became their highest charting single yet, entering the official UK singles chart at number 20.
The video above is for Sexy In Latin
Art Brut are an English indie rock band. Their debut album, Bang Bang Rock & Roll, was released on 30 May 2005, with its follow up, It’s a Bit Complicated, released on 25 June 2007. Named after French painter Jean Dubuffet’s definition of outsider art — art by prisoners, loners, the mentally ill, and other marginalized people, and made without thought to imitation or presentation — South London’s Art Brut were tagged by NME as part of the “Art Wave” scene that also includes bands such as Franz Ferdinand and Bloc Party.
The video above is for their pathetically lovable single Emily Kane
The Fratellis are an award-winning alternative rock indie band from Glasgow, Scotland. The band consists of lead vocalist and guitarist Jon Fratelli, bass guitarist Barry Fratelli, and drummer, backing vocalist, occasional guitarist and banjo player Mince Fratelli.
The video above is for their trendy hit Flathead
The Kooks are an English rock band from Brighton. Their name originated from the David Bowie song “Kooks” from the album Hunky Dory. The Kooks’ debut album, Inside In/Inside Out, spent more than half of 2006 in the UK Top 20 and has sold more than 1,000,000 copies in the UK. The group released Inside In/Inside Out and went on its in October 2006, at which point it sold out shows both in New York and Los Angeles.
The video above is for their latest single Shine On, which also unfortunately happens to be the song used in the Michelob fruit beer commercial!
Michelob Ultra - Fruit Infused Beer - Bad Idea? or Horrible Idea?
I couldn’t believe it when I saw this on TV last night! It’s goddamn fruity beer!
Let’s face it: beer is for men. Remember men? The gender that by and large grows up trying to sneak out of eating fruit and sneaking out to drink beer!
Who thought this was a good idea? Who is this beer for? Women? Women who don’t like beer now might think this is okay, but they aren’t likely to leave behind their cosmo’s, margaritas, coolers or wine for it. Men? I can’t speak for us all but I will say I’m not likely to buy it.
What do you think? Am I right or just old fashioned?
Stephen Colbert Buys the Hockey Night in Canada Theme Song
Stephen Colbert hilariously desecrates a Canadian treasure! This is the funniest segment I have seen on the show in a long time.
